It's 2013!!

My new niece Kennedy.  Born to Dustin and Moriah this weekend.  

Is there anything better than those chubby cheeks?  She is so sweet. 

And yes, I would love another baby.

Today I was talking to a friend and telling her that I felt bad because I had decided not to take on a project that I had previously said I would do.  I just knew I would regret the extra work for myself and that other, more important things, would get neglected.  She told me that she is careful not to stretch herself too thin and that she thinks it's important to guard her emotional "stability" (or something like that).  It made me feel so much better.  I am really good at feeling guilty or making myself feel bad when I have to say no.  But I have gotten much better at saying no and making sure I am not overbooked and I'm thankful for that.  My friend also said that it's important not to say no to everything, or to avoid things and make your life too easy because then you don't grow.  I think that's very true as well.


In this new year one of my goals is to compliment myself, have positive self- talk, and treat myself as good as I treat others.  I have good self confidence- I really do.  But I also always feel like there is so much more I could be doing in all areas and I forget to applaud myself for what I do accomplish.  Even the little things.  So I'm going to do that.

Yesterday church was so good.  Like, the whole three hours had me thinking and feeling good stuff.  I felt the love of my Heavenly Father all over the place.  One lady particularly touched me in saying how the gospel brings joy and we need to make sure we're feeling that joy and enjoying life.  Not getting caught up in the work and the hard stuff.  Again, it's something I need to work on.  I have the best life.  I truly feel insanely blessed every day of my life.  I really couldn't ask for much more.  And yet, I do get caught up in letting the little things get in my way or frustrate me.  The never ending messes or little problems to work out.  The jobs to do.  Things that don't matter and yet they make me mad.  So, another goal of mine is to live in the moment, let the little things go and just enjoy life for the journey.  I hope I can do it.

One more thing, I love my calling at church.  I get to teach the 16-18 year olds.  This year we have a new curriculum and each month we study a new topic.  January is the Godhead.  The lessons are not as outlined and detailed as they used to be.  The teacher needs to be in tune and come up with a lesson plan according to the needs of her students.  I was nervous about this.  I put so much time into my lesson last week and still didn't feel it coming together.  Dave told me to let it go but I kept studying.  When I sat down and started my lesson I felt so guided in the things that I said and the lesson went really well.  I'm so excited to get to study the gospel of Jesus Christ more in depth this year as I prepare lessons for these kids.  I really love the kids in my class.  There are 11 of them now.  Yesterday some of them shared things and I loved to hear their thoughts and learn from them as they learn from me.  It's going to be a good year.

2010 in Review

2010 was pretty much the best year we've had in the last five.

Our family had been struggling with three major struggles and all three were resolved in 2010.

Around October I remember sitting back and thinking "wow, I feel so light and unburdened right now." And I wanted to make sure that I really enjoyed that moment and this time of smooth sailing. I have been enjoying it.

Life, of course, is still not perfect. There are a few more struggles I would love to have resolved. But for now, I am so thankful for a good year and the many, many miraculous blessings our family has received and continues to receive.

For one thing, as I get older I am more appreciative of good health. We haven't been really sick, or sickly or injured in a long time. Besides Lexi's ear issues we feel really blessed in the health department. I am also so thankful for safety. Every night I thank God that my children and husband are safe. Life can change so quickly. I remember about 5 years ago Dave was in a horrible car crash, nearly died, and totaled his car. He walked away unharmed. I was thankful, but I don't think I realized, at the time, how blessed and protected he was in that situation. I feel so blessed that we have been blessed with safety and protection.

And of course, our baby boy on the way.

In July 2010 our long-time prayer was answered to have another baby come to our family. I'll never forget the morning I found out. I sat in my closet and cried. I cried with joy to be given another chance, I cried because I was scared and didn't know what to expect. I cried because I couldn't believe it. As time has gone on I have become used to the idea that we really are going to have this baby. But I will never take him for granted or stop thanking my Heavenly Father for this gift. I have frequently felt overwhelmed with gratitude and I almost feel like I can't ask Him for another thing because He gave me this baby. He didn't have to send this baby. I would have been ok and our family would have moved on. I would have kept doing what I was supposed to do. I would have found other things to fill my life. But He sent him to us anyway and I will be forever, forever thankful.

Now onto a short review of 2010:

January:

We fell in love with AJ everyday. At least I did. Lexi turned 9 and had a wild party. Kaley was home for the semester and we loved it. We found out 1/2 of Lexi's eardrum was gone and she would need surgery.

February:

We took care of the foster babies which was a full time job for every member of the family. Dave turned 33 and got glasses. I did love week on the blog which helped me get through the winter blues.

March:

My sister Angie and her baby Norah came to visit me and it was so fun. Then the foster babies left and it was sad. I taught the kids how to ski for their first time and it was so fun. Skiied some more.

April:

Lots of photosessions. Macey learned how to ride a bike. We visited Grandma Susie and cousins. Took the kids to see Wicked and it was so fun to watch them. Tax season ended and we went on a family trip to Cayucos and had a blast. April was good to us and we also got to go to Cabo with Chad and Julie. We tried spray tanning in preparation for our trip. Not the best experience. But Cabo was- one of the most fun trips ever.

May:

More photosessions and lots of fun doing it. My bff from childhood Laura and her family came to visit. Lexi and Logan did well in their piano recital. Dave and I celebrated 11 years and he ran a race. The girls had their dance show. Oh and our car broke down.

June:

Logan turned 8 and got baptized. He wore the cutest summer suit and I thought he was the cutest thing in the world. We went camping. And started enjoying summer.

July:

In July I got to go to New York with my sister Kaley to visit my brother and his family. It was amazing and delicious and so much fun. The kids and I spent a lot of time at the gym pool. School and soccer started again. We found out about our baby and couldn't believe it. My brother Dustin married Moriah! Lots of family came to town and it was fun.

August:

Some rough doctors appointments and 10 days of he-- waiting to see what was going to happen with this baby. More miracles. Dave ran the Hobble Creek 1/2 marathon again. The kids skipped school to celebrate my birthday and the baby at 6 flags. I slept and ate my way through the first few months of pregnancy.

September:

CC turned two. We got our hearbeat machine which saved my from daily stress and anxiety. We spent lots of nights listening to baby boy's heart. We went camping with friends. Went on a family weekend trip to Capitola. 2010 was the year of travelling to C's- Cayucos, Cabo, and Capitola.

October:

Soccer, soccer, and soccer... 3 teams this year wore me out. I had my fun "rock the OCF" photography workshop. Halloweeen parties. Fall. The giants.

November:

AJ turned one. We found out our baby is a boy and couldn't be more excited! Thanksgiving.

December:

Feels like just yesterday and all we did all month was party with the holidays, Macey's birthday, Lexi's birthday etc. etc. Lexi got her braces off- hooray!

And that's my year in review. I'm too lazy to post pictures of everything but it is all on the blog if you want to go back. But why would you want to go back when you have your own blog to go back through?? Seriously.

I'm glad I have the blog to remind me of what we do. It was a great year and now onto an even better one!

A Few of My Resolutions-

Random:

Get Photo albums done for the last 4 years

burn 8mm home videos onto disk

Make baby's nursery

Read the Harry Potter Series (yes it's true I've only read #1. I've never loved fantasy but I'm determined to read the series so Logan will love me)

Teach kids about money. Help them save. Help them learn to budget etc. etc.

Spiritual:

(My business only sorry)

Photo Business:

Last year my goal was to average 3 sessions a month which I did. This year my goal is to have fun with it. Do what I want to do. Take time with my baby and not feel pressured to do more sessions than I have time for. Be more creative. Teach Lexi how to use my camera. Learn Lightroom and start using it.

And that's it. Pretty do-able wouldn't you say? I do love the new year and thinking ahead to what I want to do with my life.

Bring on 2011.

Hobble Creek 1/2 Marathon - The DEETS!

I have a lot to say about the 1/2 marathon, so bear with me.  It was crazy and a huge rush.  I have never understood people who run races.  I just didn't see what the big deal was.  Now that I've done one, I get it.  It's exciting and fun.. and a little demented, since it hurts so much.  In the end you feel awesome so I think it is worth the pain.

When the race starts you are pumped full of adrenaline.  Around mile 6 I realized my legs were on fire because I had been sprinting the whole time!!  The crowd moves fast and you kindof want to keep up!  Next time I will pace myself a little better, I think, although the sprinting

 with the crowd was fun.  

My time was 2 hours and 8 minutes.  That is an average of 9 minutes, 45 seconds per mile.  I think I was running an 8 minute mile for the first half and a 12 minute mile for the last half!  Really, I don't know but I definitely slowed down a ton at mile 10.  My body was pretty much breaking down at that point. My knee hurt, and my arches, and my quads, and well, pretty much everything hurt!  I felt like I had a lot of energy and could have run faster but my body

 wouldn't go for it.

It was so fun to run with my family and have so much family there to cheer us on.  Two of my brothers rode their bikes up into the canyon to find us on the run and cheer us on.  Knowing that I would see them at some point totally kept me going.  I couldn't be walking when they found me!

Running a race like that is so funny because of the feelings that it brings up for an emotional person like me.  I had all sorts of "cheesy" life thoughts like comparing running to trials, enduring to the end, thinking of hero's of mine, and things like that.  At one point, around mile 10 when things were really hard I caught up to my sister in law Kim.  She was struggling too and we had a "moment" together.  We cheered each other on and maybe cried for a minute.  A little while later she pulled ahead of me and I saw my brother, her husband, come running out of the crowd, cheering her on and running with her for the last 1/2 mile.  I maybe cried a little at that point too because it was so sweet!  In life, like in races, we are lucky if we have that one person who is looking out for us, waiting for us, helping us along, encouraging us, and carrying us when we can't quite keep going.  (See?  Cheesy life thoughts all over the place).

Another thing about running in a race is it makes you feel tough.  My sister in law Julie runs these things all of the time so I was trying to do everything she told me to.  We got this stuff called "goo" and you pack it with you and eat it halfway through the race.  I stored mine in my bra, pulled it out at mile 6, tore it open with my mouth and ate it while carrying a water cup and trying to drink.  It was all spilling all over my face as I stuffed the goo down my throat and ran.  Then I just chucked my garbage to the side of the road when I was done.  If that's not tough, I don't know what is.  The "goo" almost made me vomit but it totally worked. 

 It kicked in at the same time as an awesome song came on my ipod and I had a huge burst of speed at mile 8.  I started singing, kind of dancing with my arms, and sprinting up a hill.  Too bad when the "goo" ran out and I was trudging along again all of the people I had sprinted past ran past me.  I guess I didn't get too far.  I ended up taking some more "goo" at mile 10.  It totally gave me energy again but like I said, at that point my body would not cooperate and I couldn't get my legs to move any faster.

Here are some of the other family runners:

I'm SO proud of Dave.  He ran so fast and got an awesome time.  He had done a tri-athalon the weekend before and I can't even handle how much energy he has had lately!  He was totally there for me at the end of the race, running next to me a little bit and cheering me on.  It was so fun to do together.

My sister in law Julie rocks the racing world.  Look how fast she runs- and this is like at mile 12 or 13! Go Jules!!

Emily did awesome as a last minute contender- she runs but had not trained for this!  Please notice her robot knees.  The taped helped though- I'm going to have to do that next time.

Landon had a sprained toe and still decided to run it!!  He did great.

Mommers was a last minute contender also although she had done all of the training with my dad.  She is FAST and none of us knew it!

Dave again- racing toward the finish.  He also had a sprained toe!

Dadders!  My Dad has lost 30+ pounds throughout his training.  He told all of us he was planning on walking and taking it easy!  He started the race up a little ways ahead of me and since he had said he was going to walk it I kept expecting to come upon him.  I never did!  He took off and ran the whole way coming in just under 2 hours.  Go Dadders!!  I love his peace signs here at the end.

Kim did so awesome.  She has asthma and it was killing her toward the end but she didn't give up!  She even sprinted into the finish!  Look at her focus!

Our cheering section:  Angie had gathered balloons and treats for us and had all the kids there waiting. I had been imagining my kids at the finish cheering me on but when I got there they had run off to get a drink... boo hoo.  But seeing my family there screaming for me was so awesome.  Angie was the best cheerleader and made me feel so good!

My brothers rode their bikes through the race and got all of the actions shots!

Here I am at the end, crying.  Crying with relief that it is over and crying because it was so hard.  And don't you always cry when you hug your mom in a time like this?  My family mocks my crying but I can't help it.  My emotions are always near the surface and spill over at any moment.

I can't tell you how relieved I was when the race was over.  Up through mile 9 I was good to go... it was even going by fast!  I was almost done! I was having fun!  Then it all went down hill.  My knee randomly starting shooting pain all up and down my leg.  My hurt toe was throbbing a little bit, my quads were on fire and my arches felt like I was stepping on rocks.  My legs would only move a tiny bit.  I kept running but every step hurt.  At that point I started to worry.  I wasn't sure if my legs would carry me.  But they did.  I made it to the end and of course, I cried.  It was so hard and I was wasted.  But I felt so good too for accomplishing a goal and doing something I had never done before.  I feel proud of myself because I didn't give up on the training even when I had Ciara.  We kept it up and I'm glad I did.

If I ever do it again I will NOT do it at the end of a long week of vacation.  I hadn't run in 5 days and we hadn't slept much either.  I had spent a day at seven peaks, a day in Park City doing lots of things, and I hurt myself at some trampoline place we went to called Jump on it. I was not as prepare as I would have been if I had run a race at home.  But even with all of those excuses we still did it and I am proud of my weak self!  I ran 13 miles!  Me- a "non runner" ran 13 miles and lived to tell!  Yes I could barely walk for a few days but it was really fun and believe it or not I will probably do it again someday.  Now I'm one of those crazy people!

The End.

These are my sisters kids. She has eight kids under age 12. The last three are adopted. They were here last week and I got to take their pictures. It was challenging. How do you get eight kids to look at the camera at the same time and maybe even smile?? Well, I will tell you. Dave was behind me talking all kinds of potty talk, making all kinds of potty noises, and he even lifted up his shirt at one point bearing his belly for the whole family. It worked.

Anyway, to see more of my sister's pictures go here.

I also want to take a moment to talk about the fact that it is the year 2009. I have no goals set... yet. Normally, I'm all over the goals. This year I'm late with it and feeling lazy. I have many improvements I could make in my life, many thing to work on. The problem is narrowing it down and feeling motivated to really go for it. I hate when I only work on something through January and then it's forgotten. So I'm trying to usher in a new year happily and hopefully... it's just taking awhile.

I should be thrilled for a new beginning. 2008 wasn't super awesome. I'm sure 2009 will be much better. I do have to say I've done "buns of steel" and "abs of steel" twice this week so if anything this year is going to be more awesome it's going to be my buns and abs. Seriously. I couldn't even walk up my stairs without pain today. That's a good thing. No pain, no gain.

Some floating ideas of things I want to do in 2009 are:

*Have a baby and/or have a continual supply of foster babies in my home

*Get better at photography

*Finish decorating my house

*Get a yard

*Be more patient

*Have a continual supply of good books for my children to read and to get excited about- make more trips to the library

*Scratch Dave's back 3 times a week

*Exercise consistently (isn't that always on the list?)

*Organize my stuff and get rid of 50% of it a.k.a. simplify

*Church stuff

And that's all I have to say tonight.

D-dawg signing off.

Day 4

DAY 4

First, the best news of the day.... the package I have been waiting for finally arrived!!!
It is my New Years Resolution Necklace and I'm going to wear it for all of 2008 to help me remember my goals.

Do you like it? I love it.
It is by Lisa Leonard Designs

Today for Deceptively Delicious Day 4 we had Peanut Butter and Jam muffins. One thing that I've learned from this book is you can sneak a lot of healthy stuff into muffins and it pretty much goes undetected! These have carrots in them and they were yummy. I really liked them... it turns out my kids don't like jam with seeds... even on a muffin. So they were a little hungry heading off to school. Not good.

For dinner we had Jessica's homemade Mac and Cheese with cauliflower. I liked it pretty well. The cheese got a little thick though.

Unfortunately the kids did not like it. And frankly, Logan has had it with the new recipe trying this week!! He was hungry and kindof mad when I served something new and yucky again.

I made him take a few bites and then gave him stuff he likes. I usually do not do that but my kids have been troopers through this little experiment. For Logan's sake, I'm going to take a little break from Deceptively Delicious and serve him up some familiar dinners. He's cute when he's mad though... he gave me a big thumbs down without a second thought!

Lexi actually liked the mac and cheese better than anything else this week... but still, not a total thumbs up.


And Macey... well, Macey is a little wishy-washy. Before she had a bite, she voted yes.

Then quickly changed it to a no, after downing her cup of milk (see hand).


Dessert was "Angel Food Cake Cupcakes", however, they turned out to be tiny! And just ok. I added lemon frosting with lots of powdered sugar so the kids gobbled them down.

Recap: Muffins are good and you can hide anything in them!! Mac and cheese= ok. Most kids would probably like it but mine are extremely picky. Angel food cake cupcakes... don't bother with them. It's like taking one bite of a cake... tiny and not satisfying.

Now I have to say that I have nothing against Jessica Seinfeld! I hope she doesn't read my blog and feel as though I am dissing her. Jess, we're still tight, right?? Tell Jerry I said hi!

It's just that my kids are picky (and to be totally honest, if you couldn't tell, I'm picky too!) I think overall the breakfast foods were great!!! Go ahead and try those!

I will probably stick to my own dinner recipes but will try adding some purees into some of them. Seriously, the butternut squash and sweet potatoes are virtually tasteless and packed with good stuff. Throw them into anything!

Desserts... I haven't tried enough of them. I'm going to keep trying them and will keep you posted on those.

Hope you enjoyed Deceptively Delicious Week by D-dawg!! I am now quitting. I will try some more recipes in the future. But for now, my family needs some real food that is familiar, and I need less cooking and dishes!



***

2008

My first thought, when I think of 2008, is a negative one. There's only a very slim chance of me bringing home a baby this year. That makes the whole year stink as far as I'm concerned.

But that's the negative side of me. And I'm not going to share all of those thoughts with you. What's the point of that?

Instead I'm going to tell you about the positive side of me. The positive side of me has a name. Her name is Delightful Denae!

Delightful Denae is a positive and happy person. She has faith and hope and not fear. She shares a space with Downer Denae and often has to fight for her chance to shine.
But 2008 is her year! She will make her debut tonight at midnight!

Delightful Denae's thoughts for the year 2008:

1. I am blessed.

2. I believe: "The purposes of God are great, His love unfathomable, His wisdom infinite, and his power unlimited." (Joseph Smith).

3. I will have: Spiritual Contentment (go here, click on #1).

4. I will turn outward instead of inward.

5. I will remember: "The Lord is not slack concerning His promises."

Please cheer for Delightful Denae, she needs all the help she can get to fight off Downer Denae and make her 2008 debut! But she will be triumphant!