A Simple Kind of Life

Friday night Dave was gone at the Father/Son campout and I couldn't sleep.  I decided to re-read my Grandma B's life history.  I stayed up into the early morning reading. I couldn't put it down.  I wish I could share it here on my blog.  I am so inspired to begin writing my own story.  I've thought about doing it before because I have a very bad memory and as time goes by I will forget more and more. I want to write down the things I remember now.

 Reading her history brought up a lot of feelings for me.  These are some thoughts that came to mind:

*Hers is a very simple life story.  It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be a year by year listing of events and things you did.  It's ok to not cover it all.  Her story simply paints a picture of her life with a handful of personal, specific stories and thoughts.

*Write about feelings.  She mentions that she felt she had a happy childhood. She doesn't tell everything that happened to her but overall she remembers being happy even though she was a "depression baby" and things were tough for their family.

*Life was so much simpler back then.  On weekends when she had to work until 6 (she went back to work when her kids were in middle school) her husband (my grandpa) and their kids would clean up the house for her, go and pick up hamburgers, pick her up from work and head to the local basketball game.  That was the fun they had on the weekends.  Getting a burger was a treat, they were together as a family.  It wasn't about planning the next vacation to a warm destination- they hardly vacationed at all.  It wasn't about running everyone around to all their different activities or going to a fancy restaurant alone.  It was about being together as a family and enjoying simple pleasures (after the work got done).

*Traditions.  I think traditions can make life more simple.  It's doing the same thing year after year, or week after week.  You don't have to work to plan something new, and you don't get caught up in the "let's do something exciting" mentality.

*I want my life to be more simple.  I've been leaning in this direction for awhile. More on this later.

*My Grandma was thankful. Many times in her life history she mentions how blessed she is... she said she had a charmed life.  I often feel this way as well, and I want to make sure I write it down so my children and grandchildren will know that I was thankful for the life I had.  There is nothing better than being thankful.

*Family is everything.  This belief has been handed down for generations in my family.  Our family tree is full of good, strong marriages.  Husbands and wives who truly loved each other, loved their children, and put family above all else.  I am so blessed to have that heritage.  It means so much to me.  Reading about my grandparents love for each other, seeing my own parents love for each other and knowing where my dad gets his devotion to my mom (his own dad was the same!) Watching my aunts and uncles hold hands and dance with each other even to this day.  I have so many examples of what family love should and can be, and it is a wonderful thing.

* There is nothing better than appreciating the little things in life.  A husband that gets up and works hard every day to support his family.  A mother who serves in the home because she loves her husband and children. And children who feel safe and loved at home and in turn are grateful and helpful. My Grandma had an appreciation for the little things.

So, I am going to start writing my story.  Not on the blog, because I am not a writer and no one needs to read it until I'm old or gone.  But I am excited to get started and paint my own picture of what my life has been.  To collect the memories I have into one place and make them last. And I am thankful I have this blog- a record of the last 7 years of my life.  When I started it, it was for fun and to be silly and to keep in touch.  I never knew that it was really a journal and I would be so thankful for it.

And since this post is already ridiculously long, I'm going to keep going.  Back to the simple life thought.

I have been wanting a more simple life for awhile now.  It's a thought I just can't shake.  I know it's just part of having 4 kids and all that comes with school, church, sports, and work, but things have been too busy for too long!  Something needs to change.  I think I often make things more busy than they need to be because that's what life has become and that's what I'm used to.  But I don't want to look back on my life and remember the running around, or the calendar days that are full to the brim.  I want to look back and remember the relaxing in the back yard, playing games and going on walks (my favorite thing to do).

A huge part of the reason we are moving to Walnut Creek is to take the first step in simplifying.  I'm done with the driving.  My family and Dave's work are both down there and we find ourselves on Hwy 4 heading that way TOO much!  I want my life to be slower, more simple.  I don't want to have to drive so far to be where we need to be.  I want Dave to get to work in 5 minutes (or less) and come home at the end of the day when he's done with work (he shouldn't have to travel great distances in the car after putting in a day at the desk!).  I don't want to have to pack a bag just to go hang out at my parents house.  I don't want to have to block out an entire day to go to the temple.  I want less driving.

I also want a smaller house and less stuff.  I know many people can't wait to get into a bigger house and maybe I'll be singing a different song after living in a smaller house for awhile.  But this house we are in, although I LOVE it and I'm so thankful for it, has been overwhelming for me.  I need organization and cleanliness.  It makes me a better mom and wife when things are tidy and neat.  But when you live in a large home with a lot of stuff, that becomes more difficult and time consuming to accomplish.  I have been de-junking and donating bags full of stuff lately and it feels so good.  I'm hoping to find a smaller home in Walnut Creek and see if it changes my life for the better.

I could keep going on this subject but I would love to hear how you have simplified your life.  I know it's all about little steps and that's what we are trying to do.  Our first step is big (moving) but I hope over time to do some little things that will make a big difference.  I want to slow down, stop running and enjoy small simple moments instead of thinking we need big moments/memories all of the time!

 Share with me what you have done.

This post has been all over that place but I feel so much better getting all these thoughts out of my head.

Happy Sunday!

The Funeral, Family, and I'm Done With Road Trips

We left last Saturday to drive to Washington for my Grandma B's funeral.  It was a 13 hour long drive and although we caravanned with family it was long!

Out of my Grandma's 26 grandchildren, 21 were there (4 are on missions, and my sis broke her foot the day before and couldn't come).  It was such a nice weekend seeing everyone and celebrating our family and Grandma.  I feel so blessed to be a part of this family and I love everyone in it.  I hope as the years go on we will always get together.  It was weird and sad being at my Grandma's house without her.  I will miss her.  Her older sister Lois drove from Montana to be there and seeing her was nice - she's reminds me of my Grandma in some ways.

The service included a song by the grandkids, and grandsons (both the songs and the hymns we sang were some of my favorites), eulogy by Aunt Julie, sharing memories by me, Jen, Les and Kim, and a talk by my dad and Uncle Brent.  Funerals always make me reflect on life and want to be better.  They also make me grateful in so many ways.  I'm thankful we could honor my Grandma with a good one.

We also got to see my Grandma A and George, Uncle Kevin and Gwen and some of their kids at the farm house.  It is so pretty out there and we ate some delicious crepes on Mothers Day.  I definitely got ripped off this year because we were traveling but I'm fine with it.  Dave gave me a bracelet that I love, and my kids all gave me big hugs and kisses- that's all that matters.

After the funeral we all went home and changed and some how ended up at the park across from my Grandma's eating Panda Express, and tons of candy and soda that Uncle Tom provided.  Then music got turned on and people started dancing.  I had to laugh- it is so my family to eat junk food and dance. And I'm sure my Grandma's neighbors thought "well Hazel dies and they have a party on the front lawn!"  But I'm sure my Grandma was watching and loving every minute of us having fun together. 

It was a great trip.  Now back to trying to find a house to live in, pack, and survive the end of the school year. And yes, I will continue to blog through it all because I have realized recently that blogging is a stress-release for me (and shopping too but that's a whole other post).

My Grandma B

Lexi (who is named after her great-grandma) and Grandma

It's midnight and I can't sleep so I am going to write about my Grandma.  She died today.  I know she was old, and I know she wanted to go, but it doesn't matter- I still feel sad.  I can't pick up the phone to call her and hear all the details about our family.  I can't tell her about my life and know she cares.  I will miss her.  Of course I believe in life after death.  I have had a lot of happiness today imagining her reuniting with my Grandpa up there.  I know without a doubt that she had a peaceful day today- so glad to be done with this life and to move on to the next.  And I know I will see her again.  She's my Grandma and we are sealed together as a family so she will always be mine.  But the separation of death is what is hard.  The loss for a time being of that person on earth.  Even if you only saw them once a year or so, once they are gone you just feel that they're not here on earth with you and that feels sad.

The last time I saw her was summer 2011.  I wanted her to meet Mack and a bunch of us stayed with her for a couple of days before heading to another reunion.  She held my baby and talked with my big kids and gave everyone hugs.  She would sit in her chair and ask us all about our lives.  She always wanted to know what was going on.  When it was time to say goodbye she hugged me and said, "Denae you're a good mom- I always knew you would be."  It was just something I really needed to hear and she must have known.

One thing about my Grandma is she had a lot of love to give.  I always felt loved by her.  She has 26 grandchildren and I know they all felt the same.  And then, we all started having kids and her love just kept on going.  My kids (her great-grandkids) have received countless letters, notes, and little gifts from her.  Whether is was a pillowcase, a Christmas ornament, or a cross stitch, my kids knew she loved them and they loved her back.  Whenever they wrote her a letter, she wrote them a letter in return.  She has approximately 30 great grandchildren (I might be missing one or two- too late at night to count) and she knew them all by name, knew their birthdays, and cared for them all.  That is amazing.  I want to be like her someday.

Remember how in my last post I talked about how overwhelmed and busy we are right now?  Well, none of that matters when someone you love dies.  Today I ate cookies, played guess-who with Macey, and sprayed the kids with the hose for-ever.  I thought about my Grandma and Grandpa and thanked Heavenly Father for them and for my memories.  I thought about my cousins and aunts and uncles that I will get to see soon and I felt thankful for them too.  I talked to my sisters and mom on the phone.  We sat outside this evening and watched Mack explore.  Life slowed down just a bit and it turns out that all those things I was stressing about don't matter quite as much as I thought they did.

I will miss my Grandma B so much.  But I am happy for her.  She told us all so many times she was ready to go.  She would say, "don't cry for me when I'm gone!"  I've had to cry a little but I'm trying not to.  I love you Grandma.

Christmas from Grandma B

(please don't mind my children in their orphan clothes. I told them they looked like orphans but they didn't care.)

This year while decorating the tree we ate muddy buddies and caramel popcorn because that is what I was craving. It was good and then we were all on a sugar high.

I wanted to post pictures of everything my Grandma B has made for me. She started giving each grandchild an ornament every year when we were little (keep in mind she has 26 grandchildren). Of course they are all homemade and so cute. When I got married I got to take all of my ornaments with me for our tree.

Since then she has made me a cross stitch of some sort each year. Every Christmas when we get out the decorations I can't help but think of her and I'm so thankful for these homemade gifts to remind me of my grandma.

Please, people- how cute are they?? She is so talented, and because I have no talent in the area of cross stitch I really appreciate it.

And this is not even all of it either.

The End.