Kids and Work- It's Hard But We Keep Trying Right?

I realized the other day that this chore chart we are currently using has lasted longer than others I've tried.  It is super simple and I think that's why.  There are no stickers, lamanating, enlarging, or cutsie-ness.  It's just a paper I print out every week but it works for us. 

 Everyday the kids have to do the things listed for that day.  On Saturday they get paid their allowance which is $.25 per check mark.  Except I totally cheat Macey because I don't think she needs that much money.

If they don't do their stuff (like miss more than 2 or 3 check marks) they loose privileges.  Their privileges are playing the wii or DS on weekends, watching t.v., having play dates, staying up late on weekends, dessert, and going on fun family outings.   Most of the time I just have to threaten that they'll lose privileges- I'm a huge believer in the art of the threat.  The best is when they get home from school and I tell them they better hurry up and get their stuff done (after a few minutes of down time) so in case one of their friends calls to play they can go!  Because if it's not, they can't!  That one always really works.  Too bad somedays they don't get called- so far they haven't caught onto that.

 If they get most of their items checked off they get allowance, fun weekend stuff and their privileges.  

They totally get it now and I love it.  Last week Logan wanted a playdate on Wednesday and he got himself out of bed at 6:45, cleaned his room and practiced his math and piano all before school.  I called and arranged his playdate ASAP so he would know it pays to get his stuff done!  It was amazing and I don't know if it will ever happen again. 

My kids have it easy.  Their charts aren't huge but it still takes a serious effort to get them done each day.  The main problem is their rooms.  To get a check mark for "room" it has to be CLEAN.  And my kids are natural-born slobs so it is a hard job everyday.

But as a mom I have found I am much happier if their rooms look good, their piano is done, and they've done a family job for me.  It makes me more playful and excited about doing fun things for them.  It helps me not to feel too much like their slave. 

 So, right now we have a good thing going.  We've tried lots of other ways and this little chart with the threat of losing privileges has worked the best so far.

(this is last week's chart and it wasn't the best.  They skipped some stuff and Monday was a holiday so we were a little thrown off)

And now, for your enjoyment some Saturday morning "family job time" photos.

Macey playing instead of working.

Logan running into Lexi's room to mess around.

Macey jumping off her bed instead of getting dressed.

Macey taking 5 years to fold one dress.

Lexi using the excuse that she is making her bed to really just jump on it for awhile.

But when she does finally get it made, she does a good job.

Logan caught practicing punches instead of working.

at least his teeth got brushed eventually

Macey hiding in the closet while I clean her room

More closet playing- she's a hard worker that girl

Lexi pretending to stack up her books but really reading them for awhile.

Logan is "too tired" to clean up- but after one threat of losing his wii privileges he's up!

Lexi caught working- yeah!

Now tell me about your chore charts.

Rosemond Report..... Kids and Attention

"Attention Addiction"

Parents have been fed a myth for many years..... the myth is that "children need lots of attention."


This is not true!

Attention is like food.

John says, "Children need food. But they don't need a lot of it. If you persist in giving a child more food than he or she needs, that child will become dependent upon continuing to receive excessive amounts of food. If you continue to feed that dependency, it will grow into an obsession that will function as a powerful force in that child's life. The child's sense of well-being will lean increasingly on the idea that in order to feel secure, he must have ready access to food. Eventually, the child will become a food addict, and the addiction will hang like a stone around the child's neck encumbering the growth of self-esteem."

Now read that paragraph again substituting the word "attention" every time you see the word food.


We as parents must set limits as to how much attention a child is allowed to consume in the family.

We all know children who are addicted to attention. The child who interrupts, who would rather be in the room with the adults than playing with the other children. The child who talks constantly and loudly or acts silly all of the time. Or behaves badly to divert the parent from what they are doing at the moment.

John states that children who grow up with the illusion that they are the most important member of the family will never want to leave that cozy, comfortable position that they are in.

Why do you think over 50% of high school graduates are still single and living at home?

Our main job as parents is to teach our children how to become independent and ready to leave the nest when it is their time. Our job is to teach them how to grow up and have happy successful lives on their own. Right?

Teaching them how to do this is a process that starts from they day they are born and continues for about 20 years.

Give more attention to your spouse and your marriage than to your children, and the whole family will benefit in many ways.

Do you agree? Has this worked for you?





Next up:
The REAL meaning of quality time

The Art of Napping

I come from a family of nappers. My mom always took "20 minute power naps," my dad took a nap every afternoon when he arrived home from work (he had to be at work at 5am so he was tired!). Every Sunday after church my siblings and I would all sleep for hours.

I go in and out of "nap phases." Sometimes in my life, I've felt too guilty to nap. Right now I don't. Therefore, I am taking one almost everyday, these days. And I love it. There is nothing quite as exciting as anticipating your nap. Then, when the moment finally arrives, and the stars have aligned, you curl up and, smiling, drift off to sleep.

So, let's get down to the "nitty-gritty."

To have a wonderful napping experience, there are a few essential things that must take place.

1. Have a delicious snack just prior to nap time. It is easier to fall asleep when you feel happily full of something yummy.






2. Make sure that all children are engaged in an activity that will keep their attention for a long period of time.

I usually nap for about 45 minutes to an hour. I always nap during Macey's nap because she can't quite be left unattended yet. Another trick that works for me is to not let my children watch very much T.V. most of the time. That way, when I really need them occupied, I can use the T.V. and they become zombies who can't tear their eyes away from the screen and therefore, will not bother me for ANY reason.

Another trick is bribery. Sometimes I tell them that if they let me sleep for 45 minutes without bothering me (unless there is a fire or something) then they will get a special treat when I wake up. This works well for us.




3. Use a face mask to block out light.

I tend to think too much when there is light. My curtains don't block it out enough, so I use this handy little mask. It tricks my brain into thinking it is nighttime.




4. The knee pillow. For ultimate comfort, place a cushy pillow between both knees. I can't sleep without my knee pillow.






5. Use a light weight blanket. And NEVER get under your covers.

If you get under your covers you will never get out. It is just too cozy. It is also just too sweaty. People tend to sweat more during daylight hours. Your nap will NOT be as enjoyable if you wake up sweaty and hot. A baby blanket works perfectly because it gives enough warmth, but not too much.







6. Use a noise machine.

This small electronic will only cost you a few dollars but will greatly add to your napping enjoyment. The one I use imitates the sound of a calming wind. It allows my brain to focus on a low hum and tune out any other background noise (like perhaps screaming children).








7. Last but not least, as you are falling asleep, think of something fun to do, or eat, after your nap. This will help you to get up when the alarm goes off.

Remember, you mustn't sleep for too long during the day. Naps are meant to rejuvenate you, not to make you groggy or throw off your nighttime sleep schedule.

For additional napping information, or napping questions, please contact our local expert, my friend, Celia.

Also, if you have any additional napping tips to share, please do so. I may not have covered everything in this post.





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I could never teach Kindergarten

Kindergarten means children's garden. Well, it sure didn't feel like a garden today.

I have been working in Lexi’s classroom for the past little while. I only go for one hour each time. And I’m here to say that.... one hour is going to kill me. For the entire 60 minutes I am bothered and stressed out.

If I could just sit and chat with the kids I would be alright. Then I could get the details on the classroom and friendships... the interesting stuff. But no. I have to WORK. And it is hard. Today I had to sit at the tiny table and do workshops. My workshop was doing workbooks. 2 different workbooks with 5 kids each time.

All 5 of them work at different paces and are on totally different levels. So that means I have to work with each one individually to get them to get their work done. But I have to work with each one individually ALL AT THE SAME TIME. While the other 4 are tapping me or saying, “excuse me Miss Denae?” 25 times in a row. AND I have to get all of their workbook pages done before the little tiny bell rings, and have the pages ripped out and stapled and put in their folders and have their workbooks returned to the shelf.

Does that sound impossible? Because it is.

So guess what I did? I did their work for them. I spazzed out and just started telling everyone what to write and where. I realize that is not going to help them to learn. But why do I care? I’m only there for an hour and I just need to get through that hour without hurting anyone (especially the kid across from me who has kicked my shins 10 times).

Lessons I’ve learned:

1) I could never teach kindergarten… this doesn’t mean I don’t like kindergarteners. I do, they are cute. Well, some are. I just don’t want to spend 4 hours a day in a room with 20 of them, trying to accomplish something.

2) If you want your kid to know what is going on, you have to work on things at home with them a lot…. And if you don’t, your kid will be behind and cause problems for the volunteering parent.

3) Kindergarten teachers are angels and I’m thankful for them.

4) I looked at Lexi and few times amid all of the chaos, and understood why she comes home a little frazzled sometimes. I want our home to be a peaceful, quiet, serene, restful, place that my children can come home to after a stressful day in that crazy, loud, wiggly, place we call school.

5) I could never teach kindergarten… oh wait, I already said that.