Sunday, November 04, 2007

On Starving and Biting Oneself

Why is it that every fast Sunday, by the time it is time to eat again (finally), I am so incredibly hungry that I stuff my face and chew so fast that I inevitably bite myself somewhere in my mouth.

It might be my tongue, or the inside of my cheek that is bitten. Either place, I end up taking a huge chunk out of my mouth and it hurts. And then I can't really eat without experiencing some pain because of my fresh wound. It is the worst.

I wish I could just calm down and chew slowly and carefully. That is always my plan but as the day wears on I find myself becoming more and more desperate.

Today was especially rough when Macey opened up a bag of skittles from her Halloween pumpkin and the fruity smell came wafting through the air to land on my eager nostrils. I almost attacked her to get that bag. But I mustered the tiny bit of energy that I had left, and held myself back. In fact, I tied myself to a chair. (In my mind).

Then the struggle returned when I served my children chicken salad on Ritz crackers for a snack. Macey only ate one deliciously laden cracker and left her plate at the table covered in scrumptiousness. Maybe I sneaked one, maybe I didn't. You'll never know.

Moving on. I know that you're not supposed to complain about fasting. So that's not what I'm doing. I'm just saying that it's really hard, and it hurts my body, and it makes me tired, and I hate it. Oops! That sounded like complaining! I'm just kidding about all of that anyway. Ha Ha Ha (nervous laugh)

So all of this leads me to my question. Is my body, eating myself on purpose? I mean, when my teeth bite my mouth flesh, are they meaning to? Because it (my body) is just so hungry? And it will eat anything it can get its teeth on? Whether or not it is human flesh?

I'm curious about this, because it is just seems too coincidental to really be a coincidence. I'm pretty sure, when fasting, that my body takes on a life of its own and controls my every move carelessly ignoring the pleas from my true self to slow down and be careful, and eat only food, not flesh.





Later, enjoying dessert.


34 comments:

Kaley said...

haha. I can relate on fasting being hard, but when it comes time to eat, I don't mistake my food for my flesh. but i'm sorry that you do.

Celia Fae said...

My quiet cackling is hurting my throat. That was so funny. You are a great example and saint for fasting the whole time.

*Tanyetta* said...

I'm doing the nervous laugh right now. ;)

Ashley said...

Fasting is the number one hardest thing for me. I salute you and hope the bitten flesh didn't ruin what looks like a marvelous dessert!

Hillary said...

A good long nap helps take away the hunger pains for a little while. Whenever I've ended my fast, I try to have a big glass of water first. I've gotten rid of the desperation, then I can eat. But I've snacked so much while fixing dinner, I'm not hungry by then. Thankfully, the Lord recognizes out sacrifices, but doesn't want you to eat yourself.
( by the way, my brother told me once that his mission president said gum was ok on fast sunday because you wouldn't want to offend any one you're talking to)

Penny said...

I have found the best thing for getting through the last part of a difficult fast... A BIG LONG NAP!!

Penny said...

A for eating your own face, sorry, I have no advice!

Penny said...

AS for.....


sorry

D-dawg said...

guys, I totally agree with naps helping... but this week my nap just didn't work out for me... a.k.a. Macey was being naughty and Dave was asleep in a chair.

Cheryl said...

Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. So, you're starving on fast Sunday. Who isn't? Maybe you'll build up calluses (is that how it's spelled?) in your mouth, and then biting your cheek won't hurt anymore. :)
btw, that last picture is HILARIOUS!!

martha corinna said...

This is made me smile Denae.
I am the worst faster. I have a lightening fast metabolism so I am constantly hungry. For the past 5.25 years I haven't been able to fast because I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding or both so I'm starting to get really nervous about what may happen when I have the opportunity again. I'll have to watch out for the biting myself thing.
By the way, I just read your Google search post and I looked at mine and there was a search for "sexy cascade iowa girls who like to show 10 year old boys their naked bodies". Thanks for exposing me to the underbelly of the internet Denae :)

Mike and Ariane said...

Amen! I get migraines when I don't eat...not fun! So the question is obedience with a migraine or guilt with food!

Lesley said...

I love this picture Denae! I am glad that you enjoyed your dessert! I am sorry that you totally had a chunck of your cheek biten out because you were so hungary! Fasting is sometimes really hard for me too. I am glad that you were able to make it through another one though!

Mindy said...

Fasting is so hard! I imagine it would be harder the skinnier you are, so I can't imagine how ravished you must feel after a full day. I definitely need to gain a stronger testimony of fasting because I don't have many positive things to say about it. But I don't eat myself after. I do bite my cheek occasionally, but that's not specific to fast Sunday. Sorry!

K Sue said...

Fasting can be rough. There is no real fix for it.

The Dean Family said...

fasting is a tough one for me too! you are so funny

Hollyween said...

This was a hilarious post. I like the last picture the best. Do you ever have leftover food in the fridge and all you think about is eating it like a maniac when you come home? I do. Sometimes I hide things on saturday night so I can get to them first the second that church is over. I'm horrible that way.

Lisa-Marie said...

I agree that it must be more difficult to fast when you are skinny. So, I guess that on fast Sundays from here on out I'll just embrace my chubbies and be thankful that my body can eat itself from the inside out. It doesn't have to resort to my poor cheek. Sorry for you.

Natalie said...

Yes, I agree with everyone about how hard fasting is and the usefulness of naps on such a day. Have you ever noticed that something about church just makes you so hungry anyway? Fast Sunday juts compounds the problem.

When you were talking about biting your cheek, I was reminded of your previous post about seeing a woman snarf down a bagel in her car ;)

Not that you eat like that, Denae...

shauna said...

Fast Sunday is tough. Thank goodness they are only 12 times a year, unless you forget one and then say you'll do it next week and forget about that too.

The only thing harder than fasting is teaching your children to fast. Sometimes it makes it easier because its like you are on the same team and you are all doing it together. Sometimes it is harder because they are saying and showing what I am feeling.

I'll be checking inside their mouths though for cannibalism.

Anonymous said...

1 o'clock church really helps too, because when you get home you can eat.

The 9 - 12 slot is a doozy for fasting.

Jessica said...

We had similar Fast Sundays, didn't we? (I think it was made way worse by the candy tempting me all over the place!)

Anonymous said...

LOVE that last picture!!!! You crack me up D-dawg! Fast sundays are SO hard! I feel the same way! I get headaches and loud stomache grumbling. That is awful that you get the biting yourself thing! :0

Rochelleht said...

That made me laugh out loud SOOOO hard!!! Holy cow, that cracked me up! We had stake conference (new stake presidency) yesterday, so no fasting for me. Ah, it was good.

Jen J said...

The worst part about biting your cheek is that the wound sort of sticks out and then you end up biting the same place again and again! At least that's what happens to me.

Audry said...

That is so funny. I had a hard time this fast sunday myself. I almost passed out on the couch feeding Tatum, then again when I was sitting with Jaden. I also had a huge headache. I am border line hypoglycemic(sp?) But it is not ususally that hard to fast.????

Julie said...

When I fast, I have never ending visions of food in my head...wait, even when I'm not fasting that happens...hmmmm.

Hazen5 said...

Kids and their snacks during a fast Sunday Sacrament are killer! Sometimes my daughter trys to "shove" golfish crackers in my mouth and I swear I didn't mean to eat them, she is just so strong!

Paige said...

Perhaps you could stick to a smoothie after church so your body doesn't turn on you?

Bridget said...

Oh, I can so relate. About the fasting thing, not the eating of my own flesh. I too take a long nap and only try to make food for my kids for lunch that I don't like to lessen any temptation.

Sarah Hull said...

What a crack up. I love the picture! What is it with fasting? Sometimes I can go hours without eating, just from being busy... but when I am officially fasting, I feel like I am dying and counting the seconds until the fast ends.

aurora said...

Popped over from Rochelle's blog--

So funny! I should have come by sooner!

I truly feel the same... for me it is my tongue.

Or being sooo excited about hot chocolate that I burn it each and every time making it unbearable to drink.

Anonymous said...

I hear you! Fasting stinks. I know we are blessed and all, but it's hard. I can go a day without eating, not thinking twice about food. but fast sunday comes and I can think of nothing else! I think i's because on Sundays there is nothing to do, and when I'm bored I eat...

JKAndrus said...

Denae-
It has been so long! I just started reading your blog not too long ago and have to say it is the BEST out there! You are so cute and funny! Your family is darling and I'm so happy to be able to get updates on your life and humor. My blog is jkandrus.blogspot.com (not funny, but informational) :)
Thanks for the laughs..take care,
Kristin Andrus (Moore)

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