Logan lost his first front top tooth. I no longer know him- he is a different kid to me now. Big. With missing teeth and soon to have large ones filling in the little holes.
(before)
(after)
He lost it in the middle of sacrament meeting at church. I already feel like a spectacle with whirlwind CC all over the place and then Logan stands up, pulls his tooth out with a huge smile and not so quietly whispers "I pulled my tooth out!"I need your advice. For Christmas I was not thinking straight and bought Logan a gumball machine. We bought two containers full of gumballs. Ever since Christmas he has been chewing them. Whenever I would see a big old wad in his mouth I would think "cavities!" and curse myself for buying such a dumb gift.
Then I found out that instead of using money to buy the gumballs and thus having a small savings account locked away in the gumball machine, he has been unscrewing the top to get the gum. THEN I found out that he figured out how to get the bank part of it open and has been using the small amount of money that was in there to buy more.
THEN I found some wadded up pieces of gum stuck on the underside of his bed frame. This was uncharacteristically naughty and I was shocked. I immediately took the gumball machine away and told him that he was not responsible enough for such a toy. He whined and complained and asked me if he would ever get it back. I told him I would think about it.
Here is where you come in. Please tell me if it is ok to take a Christmas gift away and never give it back? Will I be the meanest mom ever for doing this? Does he need more of a punishment for sticking the gum on his bed? What sort of amends can he make? Should I give him another chance or trash the thing forever (which is what I want to do). He told me that he should at least get the money that it cost if I take away his present. That FOR SURE is never happening.
Also, take the polls on my sidebar. I'm curious and want to justify my behavior.
21 comments:
hmmm... many options here. i think i would probably do this:
give him back the gumball machine, sans gumballs. it's not really the machine you take issue with... it's the sugar balls inside, and the behavior that they bring out in your son. tell him that you made a mistake in thinking gum was an acceptable choice for inside your house. he is, however, welcome to use the machine as a bank, and once he saves enough money, you would be happy to take him to the store to buy a non-gum item of his choosing.
good luck. parenting sometimes makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out with a rusty rake, because at least THAT would be fun.
Andrea's a genius.
That's 2 votes for Andrea's idea.
It is okay to take it away... but you need to make it up to him somehow.
Loads of gumballs = not a good idea. Moms can make mistakes too... it doesn't happen often... but it can happen.
It's probably already done but I would make him start by cleaning the gum off his bed. And I'm not above making kids write sentences. I will not stick gum on my bed, I will not stick gum on my bed - or if they're old enough, a paragraph on why that's bad.
And I would monitor the gumball consumption. Put the machine in your room or somewhere that you know that he is actually putting money in it, and not eating 20 pieces at once.
-Can you add an extra toothbrushing session to his daily routine? This in and of itself would deter my son from wanting to chew sugary gum.
-Can you replace the gum with sugar free?
-Can you have him turn it into a "for profit" adventure? (his friends or sisters or dad,could buy gum - and he gets the profits) that way all the sugary goodness could be spread around.
Ok, I would have already tossed the gum ball machine. But I don't do gum. Ever. I think it's gross. I love the idea of giving him the machine without gum and allowing him to save his money for something else. That is why I'm not the best at this parenting stuff. I'm kind of heat of the moment--toss out the machine, etc. Thanks for giving me something to think about.
My husband is a kindergarten teacher and he uses a marble jar in his classroom. For each good deed any of the kids do, they get a marble in the jar. When the jar is full they get a prize. What about using your gumball machine as a marble jar instead? Once it's full, he can have gumballs that weekend or something?
I love what Andrea said. I was going to say let him have the gumballs that he has already purchased and when they run out he can put something else in the machine. I'd explain to him that you are worried about cavities and that it didn't really occur to you before how bad for his teeth the gumballs could be. I'd make a big deal about the fact that he is getting his adult teeth and he had to take extra care of them because they are permanent.
I like what Andrea said though, too.
Logan is so cute.
Love Hilary's idea of the marbles! And no you are not the meanest Mom ever, it was a very fitting consequence for the actions! I think we are too worried sometimes about hurting our kids feelings when teaching them and as long as it isn't done with anger and screaming and yelling they will be fine and learn some hard life lessons. Better learned now over gumballs than later over something much larger and possibly more dangerous!
I was going to suggest the same thing as Hilary. Let him keep the jar, but have him earn the gumballs. Also- no gumball machine in his room, that is way too tempting.
Having a son that does stuff like this ALL THE TIME it made me feel better that he is not alone... is that bad?
I'd make him scrape the gum off his bed. Move the machine to a place where I could keep track of it. Get sugar free gumballs. I'd also make him buy his own gumballs to put in it. Once the gum is gone he's gonna have to pony up to get more gum. Plus, I'd specify only one piece of gum at a time. Or, if you don't want to use the gumball machine as a piggy bank you could get one of those banks that count the money as you put it in. Then once he saves so much he can get x number of pieces of gum from the machine. Save 10 pennies use 1 to get some gum etc. But most importantly make him scrape the gum off the bed.
Buy some rubber gloves. Head to the local junior high or the bowling alley. Make him scrubb off gum. Pretty sure he wont be putting gum anywhere after that.
p.s. my uncle is a dentist and he says you chew all the sugar out of gum before it can do any damage and he thinks gum chewing is actually good for your teeth because it creates saliva. He also says there are some studies that say that bacteria can still thrive on the sugar substitutes in sugar free gum.
He, however, has very different opinions about the 'rude' factor...think cow chewing cud!
I've loved reading the other comments because I had no idea what to do. I usually do the worst possible thing in the heat of the moment and then regret it. I love that you are thinking it through.
I loathe gum especially with kids. Yesterday, my friend gave my 4 yr old a piece of gum at about 10:00 in the morning. I noticed that she was still chewing it at 4:00 in the afternoon after she had eaten lunch and two snacks. Gross. Basically, she just held it while she was eating and put it back in when she was done. I hate gum.
Take it away for a while and make him clean up the gum. Then when you do decide to give it back don't just give it to him as a free for all, tell him it has to stay in a place that you can keep track of it. Pantry in the kitchen or something. Then let him have a gum ball every once in a while, or whatever you decide, like once a day. But tell him if you see gum anywhere that it shouldn't be that it will be taken away forever. Remind him that gum is sugar and that while it is fun and ok to chew gum it's not ok to chew it all day long and in huge quantities.
i bought a jelly belly machine for our nine year old foster son for christmas and it has since been taken away....and forgotten about, i think.
i say, we as moms do what we have to do to encourage our kids to behave. it's for their own good in the long run!
Go Logan! haha. I remember doing things like that all the time! Totally kidding. I was perfectly obedient. Take it away and make him do pushups everyday for a month to get it back! He'd learn some good lessons. Man, I cant wait to be a Father!
love your blog! I am super consequence focused with the kids I work with so I say it is gone for good! I know, sometimes people think I am extreme, but I think a BIG lesson learned once is better than a smaller lesson learned over and over. But, you the mama, you know best!
That smile without the tooth is charming! Such a cute kid!
I like your polls. :)
Hang him by his toes! ;)
When this happened in my house, we exchanged the machine for another less sugary toy and he had to brush his toofers twice as long for a while.
Denae: I never comment--even though I try to keep up w/the blogs--but just thought of a solution. Tell Logan that you NEED to bring the gumball machine to Dave's office to share w/any kids--and especially him, Macey and Lexie, when they come to visit the office. (JP has a jelly belly machine in his office--so Dave really needs something too:-) And good idea from one of your friend--replace it w/some kind of bank. LOVE your blog and you're the BEST Mom Denae--just like your mom!!
There is plenty of chewed up gum under benches at church or under the lip of the stage if you are looking for consequences.
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