As part of my "get better"/ "move on" therapy, I joined the gym.
I have never been a member of a gym before and I was so nervous!!
I have never been a member of a gym before and I was so nervous!!
7 Reasons why I am a "gym loser":
1. I only have one gym outfit so far and it is ugly. I need to get something cute to wear like everyone else.
2. I've worn that same outfit every time I've gone, which has been 5 times so far. And I've only washed it once. Sick, I know. See? I really need a new outfit.
3. When I lift the weights I don't just put the little weight pin in the highest notch, I completely take it out. So sad.
4. I don't know how to use the machines properly and so I just guess. I push a lot of buttons and I might be breaking them. One machine that I used the other day was "out of order" today! Was it my button pushing?
5. I don't know where to put my used "sweat towel" that they gave me, so when I was done I just left it on the machine. Also, I didn't use my sweat towel... just sort of carried it around.
6. Today I was supposed to run on the treadmill, but ended up walking the whole time because when I tried to run I couldn't read my magazine. The words were bouncing everywhere!
7. Last but THE WORST... today after the gym I gave in to my weak, no self-control body, and went straight from the gym to the Mcdonald's drive through and ate a Mcgriddle! How lame is that? My "workout" counted for nothing!!
Does anyone have any "gym tips" they can pass on to me
so I won't be such a "gym loser?"
so I won't be such a "gym loser?"
34 comments:
Join Club One. I'm sure there are plenty of people there who could tell you what to do!
Here is a tip: Next time get the yogurt parfait.
Usually when you join a gym they give you one free training session. A trainer could work with you and tell you how to use the machines and help you figure out what you want to work on. Just ask and I am sure they will love to help.
p.s. I go to the gym everyday and I still watch people to see how they use the machines so i can use them better.
This was so funny! One piece of advice is not to try and impress the hot guy in the tank top while you're running on the treadmill at a high speed cuz you might fall flat on your face and everyone will laugh at you, but inside you're crying. Oh, wait. That's me. Another piece of advice is to stay away from the inner/outer thigh machine because when you try to change from outer to inner, the cable might break and you might get in trouble. Oh, that's me again. I totally related to this because I am a HUGE gym loser.
Holly I'm dying! I can't believe your gym experiences! You make me feel so much better, thanks. And Laura, I tried to schedule a trainer session and they were booked for months. Lame I know. My friend Ann showed me a few things so that helped.
Gym outfits are overrated. Go to Ross (talk to Celia) and but some cheap T-shirts and black capri workout pants and you are done. How dumb to spend money on clothes you sweat in.
I've never used the gym towel, either.
And I fully believe that 30 minutes at the gym=a whole day's worth of calories, so I think you are good on the McGriddle.
so funny...all of your reasons are exactly why i have never joined a gym...i agree about the clothes...why put money into it if you are just going to sweat in them. but the gym can be a mini fashion show too:) good luck, you are so good!
When I had a gym membership I'd go mainly to chill in the steam room while getting free childcare. I'd go on the days I'd need to blow my hair out so that I could do it in the gym bathroom without distractions or my house being destroyed. As far as working out goes, that's not what I'd use the gym for, it's all about the free childcare!
Denae, you crack me up! You are totally not a gym loser! At least you are there, unlike me! I liked the idea of going to Ross and getting a cheaper gym outfit, they are a little overrated and don't worry about needing to walk instead of run so that you could read your magazine, once in Utah I was not paying attention and trying to run and read at the same time and totally stumbled and slipped off of the treadmill and my MP3 player went flying-talk about humiliation! Everyone was staring and asking if I was okay! You'll get it down soon enough! Have fun!
Les, I'm so sorry to laugh but I can totally see you in my mind falling! Did you get hurt???
This why I'm thinking of joining Curves...
I guess I should comment again and tell you that I fell on the treadmill when I was in college and my roommates just laughed at me while the treadmill was still going. They couldn't stop laughing enough to save me!
Oh my gosh Laura! So many people have fallen! Now I know for sure a fall is in my future. I'm already so embarrassed.
Hahaha!!! I didn't fall on the treadmill, but I tripped from over-exertion, no kidding! I had overdone it and became real dizzy that I couldn't focus where I was walking and Boom! There was a hole in the ground.
I have one gym outfit too. And one pair of gym shoes. Needless to say I only go once a week, or less.
Keep going, girl!
Try walking on an incline in intervals(faster for 30s to 1 min) then average speed for 2-3 mins...that way you can still read your magazine but give your heart a good workout.
2. The machines aren't as good as free weights. Especially since you aren't doing any weight on them. For an easy way to get some ideas on exercises, try googling arm weights or something. And look at the exercises, they are pretty basic. The trick is in technique
3. I am all about free t-shirts and mesh shorts. There is nothing cute about sweating and working out and so don't even bother. Plus it is cheaper...and airyier (is that a word?) than those tight "cute" workout outfits.
Despite my seemingly endless advice, I have never actually been part of a gym. But I spent my entire high school career in 3 sports and then college taking tons of women's weight classes, workout classes, etc. So I just can't justify the expense, especially since I know how to do everything and pretty much have it all at my house. Except a treadmill :)
Good luck and remember the gym is not a fashion show! Because I think every one thinks that and really they all wish that no one dressed nice because then they wouldn't have to either!
Hey at least you have the courage to join a gym...I won't join one becaucse I am to afaird of being a gym looser and falling on my face, which sounds like it is not to uncommon.
This was funny! I'm so glad you are blogging again. I've never been too much of a gym person myself. I like the little clubhouse gym here because there's never anyone there to laugh at me. I hear ya with the no pin thing - I'm so weak. Have you tried any of their classes?
Julie, the classes is a great idea. But they all seem to be at the wrong time. Plus I need beginning ones so I don't pass out. But I am going to try them eventually.
Deanae, you are NOT a gym loser. You go. Losers are the ones who join just so they can say they belong to a gym and never use it. They are also the ones who make the gyms money.
1)TJ Maxx usually has some cute gym shirts for cheap. But noone really cares. It's just for you so when you walk by the mirrors you don't think you look bad.
2)No one knows but you. If you smell bad, people just think you've been working out really really hard, and you've been at it for a long time. Or think about it this way. How long do you usually wear your clothes in a day before washing them? 10-14 hours, a few workouts is nothing.
3)You're just getting a feel for how the machines work, after a week or so, you can move up to the first weight.
4)If you break a machine you are just helping insure job security for the guy who wanders around there looking for things to fix. I really doubt you did anything just by randomly pushing buttons.
5)There is a black box that looks like a large trash can at the botton of the stairs. It says "towels" on it. Or a drop hole in the ladies locker room.
6)Any excuse to not run is a great one.
7)Working out makes you really hungry, sometime for hours. I usually go on a 4-hour eating binge afterwards which is way worse than one McD item.
Ann!! Thank you so much for adressing all of my concerns. Now I know where to put my towel! YAY!
Denae, I forgot to mention that a class I became very obsessed with is spinning. All you have to do is sit there on a bike and you can totally take it at your own pace. Eventually you'll get really good at it. Just remember that your butt hurts like a mother for the first two or three times but you totally have to get over that hump and then you'll LOVE it. It's very motivating and a huge calorie burner. If you can find a class that fits into your schedule, then I'd highly recommend it.
I've heard that spin classes kick your trash.
I hate the gym. We just joined one by our house and I have been twice in the 3 months. I am a loser and wear ugly sweats.
You are hilarious! I've always been so uncomfortable in the gyms where everyone is beautiful and dresses so cool just to work out. We are members at the YMCA and I love it because everyone there is in their sweats and dorky t-shirts and I feel right at home. Good for you that you joined a gym. I hope you like it. It is one of the main things that keeps me sain!
Denae- Let's face it, all the fat mommas there are cursing you because you are skinny and cute and don't need to work out. So quit.
Or get some huge new boobs and tiny tops like all the hussy mommas do at my gym- then it doesn't matter what you are wearing because your boobs are wearing you!
D- what is that ad in your sidebar for DNA research. Are you getting paid for hosting this blog. Report.
Denae!! It is Beth (Gould) Rustand! You make me laugh so hard! I love your blog, and I am so sorry about your last few months!! I hope we can stay in touch now. My blog address is meandmyloves.blogspot.com. I just had to change my address. Anyway, love your blog!
I laughed at every one of your "Why I am a gym loser" reasons. It describes me completely. But I don't need a towel because I LEAVE the gym when I strat to sweat. It's a FIRM rule of mine.
Janelle, blogger has an option to have ads on your blog and you earn money when someone clicks. It is obviously not a lot of money but anything is better than nothing I think! I might even put a few more ads on there and see how much I make. I'll report on my earnings at some point. p.s. we want to hang out with you guys soon!
BETH GOULD! I'm so happy to be in touch again! I am going to go check out your blog right now!!
Okay...so I have had a gym membership since I was 16 (do you remember the women's gym at Encina? I can't even remember the name now). Anyway, it takes time to adjust and not feel like you are foolish or that everyone in the world is watching you.
The thing is I love the solitude in company. I know that sounds weird, but I love being alone with people all around me. And yes, you do need some new gym outfits. Look for things on sale at Nordstrom (I know that sound ridiculous...but they have great sales on good stuff that will last).
At least you go! A total loser doesn't even go! Borrow an old t-shirt from Dave and wear it with pride!
I love McGriddles! Aren't they the most delicious things ever?!? I wish they served them all day.
Hi, I'm a lurker on your blog by way of Celia and Paige (actually by way of Paige's friend Adrianne). Anyway, this post moved me to comment. First, I live in Peru so the reference to the McGriddle almost made me cry - it is just so disgustingly good no? If you ever need a reason to eat another one without any sense of guilt, think of me languishing in Lima with McDonald's that don't even open until lunchtime! Secondly, I have a gym membership at Bally's - I have had it for so long that is costs me $7 a month and even though the closest one is roughly 2500 miles from me and we will likely not live in the US for another 20 years, I don't have the heart to cancel this membership because its just such a good deal. True confession, even when none of the above conditions applied I did not go to the gym for most of the reasons you enumerated, the sweat towel in particular was always perplexing. Just remember with the exception of the women who look like men and the men who look like they live there everyone else is a "gym loser" too, they just have better clothes. Moral, get some cute clothes and you'll be golden!
funny posts...I HATE the gym and don't like to think of people watching me, when I know they probably aren't, but just the thought of someone glancing at me while I'm working out BUGS...so I just don't even go! I hate exercising. I NEED to go, but it's so boring. I like a good aerobics class with awesome music, that's about it!
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